An Article by Paul Miller Submitted by OFC ReFocus Prayer Director, Roger Sorensen (Printed with Permission from Tyndale (NavPress))
I was listening to the discussion at a staff meeting when our
consultant said, “Paul is so quiet. He doesn’t seem to be passionate about
anything, except maybe the person of Jesus.” I smiled, partly because it was
funny and partly because on the inside I am like Barney Fife, the nervous
deputy on the old Andy Griffith Show.
My mind churns with ideas, and my mouth is eager to assist.
So why did I appear so calm? Because I was praying, quietly to myself,
over and over again: Father, Father,
Father. At other times I will pray the name of Jesus or the name Christ. Sometimes I find myself praying
a short phrase, such as Come, Spirit.
This is not a mindless chant I practice in order to reach some higher
spiritual plane. Just the opposite. I realize I’m on a low spiritual plane, and
I am crying out for help like a little child who runs to his mother saying,
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” My heart is hunting for its true home. David captured
the feel of the praying soul in Psalm 63:
“O
God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh
faints for you, as in a
dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Ps 63:1)
Why am I quietly crying out for help? My tendency to interrupt in
staff meetings is a “dry and weary land.” When I feel my inner Barney Fife
crying out for attention, I pray quietly, Jesus,
Jesus, Jesus. Like Augustine, my heart is restless, and I need to find my
rest in God.
I’m at my worst when I’m passionate about a new idea. I can drift into
selling instead of listening and can easily become dominating. My heart is a
dry and weary land. But when I begin to pray, the energy of my life is directed
into the life of God and not into changing people’s minds…and I shut up!
When someone shares an idea that was originally mine, I want to
mention that I first thought of it. I feel unsettled, as if the universe is out
of balance. In short, I want to boast. The only way to quiet my soul’s desire
for prominence is to begin to pray: Apart
from you I can do nothing.
Interrupting, selling, and boasting are just a few of the things that
draw me into continuous prayer, into continual childlike dependence on my
Father. Each of us has our own list. We can let it drive us into a praying
life.
